Things learned from life so far:

Today was on of those days when I had an angst in me, an uncomfortable feeling for no reason. For a long time now I have been able to maintain a stable mind, a happy go luck attitude free of unnecessary thinking and a general involvement with life just enough not to make me suicidal.

I think the impending change is rocking my ship that is the mind on the sea that is existence. I need to remind myself of a few things I have learned in life.

1) Living in the moment. Past and Future are not under my control. While I waste time reminiscing or worrying, I miss th chance to 'live' the moment.

This also encompasses studying the beauty around, the beauty of everyday scenes and living with involvement or so called 'mindfully'. In the moment apparently is also a stress reducer (MBSR)

2) Ego: most unpleasant feelings vanish once you learn to see that they stem from your ego. And ego is quite a useless concept.

So when someone makes fun of you, instead of trying to come back with a retort, make fun of yourself more and you'll enjoy it.

3) Obsession about anything should be avoided. Identify your obsessions and watch out for them. Identify patterns of behavior and get rid of unwanted patterns.

4) Dharma - Artha - Kama - Moksha

5) Health: Being healthy keeps you feeling light and fit and happy. Exercise gets rid of lethargy and boredom and stress and depression. As a bonus you get a good looking body and a pimple free face. :)

6) Doing whatever you do to the best of your ability. This I learned from my college days and I hope to always remember. Even if you think doing something is useless and meaningless, now that you have to do it, doing it half heartedly is even more meaningless and wasteful of your own time and effort (and the cribbing about it is a bad choice you see)

7) Do not judge people. And behave with people the way you want them to behave with you. Yet expect nothing from others. And never place your happiness in someone else's hands. Be wary of emotions that others' behavior provokes in you. Its often unwanted.

As I prepare for my stint in London, I am sure I will learn much more. I need to remember not to get caught up in my old bad patterns of behavior. Change is not my best friend but I hope wih the above, I will be better prepared for it.

Above all a smile and positive thoughts! :)

Absurdity to Infinity

"More than the absurdity of life itself is the absurdity of trying to find meaning in it."

If you accept that life is absurd - lets start with this assumption. Why? You ask me. Well, why not?? You gotta start somewhere - so if you truly "accept" that life is absurd the you would stop trying to find meaning in it. That is to say, you will stop trying to look for meaning, search it in the past or wish it in the future. And just maybe try to enjoy the present instead. Maybe then you would see the present in its entirity (google's spell check's telling me that's not a word). I guess life truly, is just about appreciating it, moment by moment.

To go one step further, since you can't look ahead and see what happens 'after life', you can't really be sure that life is absurd (that is to say, has no meaning) either. Because by definition 'meaning' follows (and not precedes) 'existence'/'event'. At this point, even if you do not accept the initial assumption, I would ask you to consider the wisdom in trying to find meaning in life...

Maybe a thought initiated the action, but the action does not remember why it was initiated, it can only remember again at the point of its flawless completion, which is when the thought is realized. [Circle? or Infinity?]

Restless In-animation (composed 21 Mar 2011)

I got nothing.
Laugh out loud. Its time for change.
Change thats been awaited too long. Now, it's stale before it's arrived.

Left in a state of dull confusion, indecision lurks.
The tea looks funny and soon it will go cold.
Life seems to sit wasting like the tea.

The mind looks for the light.
But it seems to be harder this time.
Exam time is now. Lessons learnt need to be remembered.

Nothing matters, right? So what if I fail?
Yeah nothing matters, but I want to evolve.
Experience after experience, moving on, not dawdling.

I have been pig dung.
I have been the image of a prayer stone.
Time to change again and stand against new rain.

This chapter will pass too.
In a shoe box the memory will remain forgotten.
To pinch some distant present hoping the numbness would give way.

Ideas have been sprung upon.
But need to be examined. Tedium (or caution) prevents me.
But a climax must be explored.