1) Kriyas: The Kriyas are helping. They have somehow transformed my life. My parents are also benefiting from them. I must keep the continuity going. Do the kriyas without fail everyday. Ever since Sadhguru came into my life, I have felt a sense of abandon, a sense of trust that life is leading me to my destination, that life is going just right, contentment. I remeber the experience with nature at Araku, and again at Wayanad and at Neliyampathy. I remember the complete abandon of the trip in Kerala and Gokarna. I remember complete involvement everytime I volunteered and at BSP. Point to be remembered is, the Kriyas are helping. They are doing their job and I need to intensify the experience. I want to do it as an offering to Sadhguru rather than as a chore.
2) Sexuality: Sex is of the body, sexuality is of the mind. I see that gradually the compulsiveness in regard to sexuality is going away. I have a feeling the sexual energy thus saved is upping my progress in physical and mental health though I need to look at this hypothesis again. I need to be careful of pornography. Some compulsiveness remains there although I see clearly that the sexual release with pornography is not blissful, not satisfying anymore.
3) Marijuana, Alcohol, Cigarettes: One of my biggest addictions was marijuana. This time in Gokarna and in Pune, I saw clearly that it was not helping. One thing, it made me lazy so I would not do my kriyas. Second, it made me eat too much and also made me lethargic - not good for the body. Also, it made me think compulsively and without awareness. I was very aware of Sadhguru's presence pulling me away. I was no longer able to enjoy it like I used to. One thing I realized was, even if it gave me some sort of expanded consciousness experience, it happened without any awareness and it was very impermanent and too many side effects. Alcohol clearly does not agree with my stomach and my head. Cigarettes are poison for me given my Marfan (heart and joint issues) as I clearly saw with my experience in Pune.
What I need to be aware of is the group effect. In a group where most people drink, smoke or dope it is very easy to forget the awareness and regress into old patterns of behavior. The need to be aware and conscious is most important during group events!
4) Career: I will keep my mind open about this. Right now I am trying to do the Hata yoga course but there are some obstacles. I am going on another trip soon this time planned for 3 months. I want to look at my motivation to travel. Is it an escape? Is it a vacation? Does it help me grow? How can I make the experience deeper, more meaningful? Maybe by writing about it? Maybe by volunteering? How can I create a situation so that I can make it financially practical? The family business does not figure in my aspirations. Although I sometimes feel guilty about that, I can see that that guilt is emerging from my ego - which is hurt because it is not earning a living, rather than from any essential conflict in my self for choosing not to join the business. Also the guilt has something to do with the laziness. I am eating too much and surely sleeping too much. I need to put this time to meditate. I realize that I have the sweetest deal of all the meditators I know but that I am not putting that opportunity to full use.
2) Sexuality: Sex is of the body, sexuality is of the mind. I see that gradually the compulsiveness in regard to sexuality is going away. I have a feeling the sexual energy thus saved is upping my progress in physical and mental health though I need to look at this hypothesis again. I need to be careful of pornography. Some compulsiveness remains there although I see clearly that the sexual release with pornography is not blissful, not satisfying anymore.
3) Marijuana, Alcohol, Cigarettes: One of my biggest addictions was marijuana. This time in Gokarna and in Pune, I saw clearly that it was not helping. One thing, it made me lazy so I would not do my kriyas. Second, it made me eat too much and also made me lethargic - not good for the body. Also, it made me think compulsively and without awareness. I was very aware of Sadhguru's presence pulling me away. I was no longer able to enjoy it like I used to. One thing I realized was, even if it gave me some sort of expanded consciousness experience, it happened without any awareness and it was very impermanent and too many side effects. Alcohol clearly does not agree with my stomach and my head. Cigarettes are poison for me given my Marfan (heart and joint issues) as I clearly saw with my experience in Pune.
What I need to be aware of is the group effect. In a group where most people drink, smoke or dope it is very easy to forget the awareness and regress into old patterns of behavior. The need to be aware and conscious is most important during group events!
4) Career: I will keep my mind open about this. Right now I am trying to do the Hata yoga course but there are some obstacles. I am going on another trip soon this time planned for 3 months. I want to look at my motivation to travel. Is it an escape? Is it a vacation? Does it help me grow? How can I make the experience deeper, more meaningful? Maybe by writing about it? Maybe by volunteering? How can I create a situation so that I can make it financially practical? The family business does not figure in my aspirations. Although I sometimes feel guilty about that, I can see that that guilt is emerging from my ego - which is hurt because it is not earning a living, rather than from any essential conflict in my self for choosing not to join the business. Also the guilt has something to do with the laziness. I am eating too much and surely sleeping too much. I need to put this time to meditate. I realize that I have the sweetest deal of all the meditators I know but that I am not putting that opportunity to full use.
No comments:
Post a Comment